Sure. We’ve all studied some NLP and its precursor “body language” but the truth is that we get busy. We don’t apply what we know and we miss opportunities to be better communicators.
This is a good time to review some of these skills. Body language never lies. It can tell you a lot if you know what to look for. Just be careful not to use this information to fuel your assumptions. So the first tip is - always test your observations of body language to confirm that what you think is really what is going on. If people appear bored, angry, or frustrated, then they probably are! But always check this out with them first just to be sure. You might say, "It looks like you are slouching or fidgeting. Would you mind sharing what you're experiencing right now?" If you sense that a body is telling you something, check in with the person to find out what it is.
Examine the congruence between body language and verbal language. For example, laughing while describing a very painful experience is incongruent behavior and should be checked out. This incongruence indicates that something is amiss.
The "movements" of Body Language can provide clues about how people conduct other aspects of their lives. These are patterns of behavior that they might not even be consciously aware of.
Be attuned to cultural differences in body language. These could also affect your observations. So as always, check out your perceptions. Finally, - be conscious of the power of your own body language to affect others. For instance, use open friendly posture. When you move, move deliberately and for a purpose. Use gestures to strengthen or enhance your communication. Make regular eye contact with everyone. Be expressive, amplifying what you are feeling and saying with your facial expressions and your body gestures.
Look for these cues and check them out. Practice observing body language. Use them to improve your daily interactions.
1. Positive Body Language / Negative Body Language
2. Direct eye contact (no staring)
3. Warm, open smile (teeth revealed)
4. Nodding
5. Head tilted
6. Open, inclusive gestures (palms showing)
7. Fully facing others
8. Leaning forward
9. Upright but relaxed posture
10. Firm handshake
11. Double hand clasp handshake
12. Feet firmly planted
13. Chin up
14. Sitting forward
15. Eyebrow flash upon greeting
16. Eye contact not met
17. Tight or no smile
18. Down and away or dropped glances
19. Not fully facing, at an angle
20. Leaning away
21. Hunched shoulders
22. Too-stiff posture
23. Weak handshake
24. Chin into chest
25. Arms crossed or Legs crossed
26. Body sagging
27. Legs outstretched while seated
28. Absentminded gazes
29. Staring
30. Fidgeting
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I am big on body language !!! In sales it really helps to get your point across and to "SEE" what your client feels
Anne
As I am reading your post I am immediately paying attention to how I am sitting. You are 100% correct on the importance of paying attention to your own body language, as well as reading the other person's true feelings. In our business so many clients and peers say one thing and mean another. We just had a situation yesterday where I could hear in a client's voice that he was not being honest. This was easily detected in his tone, his smile and his eyes. Just reading into that body language I was able to work through his hesitation, finding out his true concern and was able to alleviate it.
There's nothing worse than a weak handshake! Great post.