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Sure. We’ve all studied some NLP and its precursor “body language” but the truth is that we get busy. We don’t apply what we know and we miss opportunities to be better communicators.

This is a good time to review some of these skills. Body language never lies. It can tell you a lot if you know what to look for. Just be careful not to use this information to fuel your assumptions. So the first tip is - always test your observations of body language to confirm that what you think is really what is going on. If people appear bored, angry, or frustrated, then they probably are! But always check this out with them first just to be sure. You might say, "It looks like you are slouching or fidgeting. Would you mind sharing what you're experiencing right now?" If you sense that a body is telling you something, check in with the person to find out what it is.

Examine the congruence between body language and verbal language. For example, laughing while describing a very painful experience is incongruent behavior and should be checked out. This incongruence indicates that something is amiss.

The "movements" of Body Language can provide clues about how people conduct other aspects of their lives. These are patterns of behavior that they might not even be consciously aware of.

Be attuned to cultural differences in body language. These could also affect your observations. So as always, check out your perceptions. Finally, - be conscious of the power of your own body language to affect others. For instance, use open friendly posture. When you move, move deliberately and for a purpose. Use gestures to strengthen or enhance your communication. Make regular eye contact with everyone. Be expressive, amplifying what you are feeling and saying with your facial expressions and your body gestures.

Look for these cues and check them out. Practice observing body language. Use them to improve your daily interactions.

1. Positive Body Language / Negative Body Language

2. Direct eye contact (no staring)

3. Warm, open smile (teeth revealed)

4. Nodding

5. Head tilted

6. Open, inclusive gestures (palms showing)

7. Fully facing others

8. Leaning forward

9. Upright but relaxed posture

10. Firm handshake

11. Double hand clasp handshake

12. Feet firmly planted

13. Chin up

14. Sitting forward

15. Eyebrow flash upon greeting

16. Eye contact not met

17. Tight or no smile

18. Down and away or dropped glances

19. Not fully facing, at an angle

20. Leaning away

21. Hunched shoulders

22. Too-stiff posture

23. Weak handshake

24. Chin into chest

25. Arms crossed or Legs crossed

26. Body sagging

27. Legs outstretched while seated

28. Absentminded gazes

29. Staring

30. Fidgeting

For more great tips like this and hundreds of free real estate training videos go to CKGTV.com your resource for FREE online real estate agent and broker training.

Active listening is a behavior. Poor listening creates tension, while active listening builds rapport and trust with a customer. There are three skills to remember in active listening:

1. Feeling: This is the ability to recognize silent messages that the customer is sending through vocal intonation, body language and facial expressions.

2. Acknowledging: This is the act of receiving and acknowledging the customer’s message and feelings. Accepting that message as true and valid, without judgment of content.

3. Responding: This is the process of giving and inviting feedback to determine the accuracy of the customer’s message and feelings. The active listener tries to understand the customer’s problem or concern.

Now that you know the skills involved with active listening, there are six rules to incorporate into your active listening skill set:

1. Limit Your Own Talking: Listening is just that: being quiet and allowing someone else to talk. In active listening, you will be limiting how much you say while letting the client have the floor to communicate his needs, issues, ideas, or concerns. By staying focused on what they are saying, you will have a better comprehension of what your customer needs or wants.

2. Don’t interrupt: It’s hard not to step in and interrupt, because a lot of the time we have something to say that will help make our point, but by doing so, we show a lack of courtesy and respect to the speaker. Customer’s who are interrupted don’t feel heard, which will only create greater challenges in your business relationship. Sometimes we think we know exactly what the customer is trying to convey so we interrupt by finishing their sentence or answering a question that hasn’t even been asked. (See point number 3.)

3. Watch for Non-verbal Communication: 7% of what the client is speaking is verbal, 38% can be heard through their tone, while 55% will be seen in their body language. Add that all up and you have 93% of a message that is conveyed entirely by body language and tone – not what they are actually saying. Look for body languages that indicate boredom (yawning, avoiding eye contact, etc.). Body language may also indicate that they don’t agree with you or they are getting upset (crossed arms, squinted eyes, etc.) Be very aware of what your customer is non-verbally saying to you.

4. Don’t Formulate a Response: As anyone talks to us, our mind is always ticking away with an automatic response. Almost anything someone says, we are formulating a plan on how to respond. When we do this, we aren’t actually paying attention to everything that is being said. Instead, listen carefully; you just may discover that your initial response wasn’t appropriate, because you didn’t hear the full details.

5. Talk in a Conducive Setting: It’s hard to communicate with anyone when there multiple distractions around you: phones ringing, people walking by or coming into your office, the office is cold or too hot, or you have distracting habits like clicking a pen, or jingling change in your pocket. These types of distractions makes anyone feel unheard.

6. Paraphrase: No, it’s not rude to rephrase what’s just been said to you, because this shows the client that you not only listened to what he had to say, but you also heard and understood what was said. Too many problems are unresolved, or too many mistakes are made because we didn’t understand what someone was telling us. By rephrasing what was said, the customer will either agree, or correct your interpretation. When someone asks, “Do you understand?” or “Does that make sense?”, rather than saying yes, a good way to respond is to say, “I want to make sure I understand you fully…” or “I think I understand, but let me just make sure…” and then paraphrase what the client communicated.

A good sales person knows exactly the right things to say to sell a product or service. But a successful sales person will gain valuable insight of what the customer wants by actively listening and then sells the customer-appropriate product or service.

For more great free training tools and tips and hundreds of free training videos go to CKGTV.com your resource for free online realestate agent and broker training.

We are half way through 2008 and soon we'll be concentrating on next year’s plan. Perhaps this is a good time for a memory jog!

Statistics show only 3% of us operate with a written business plan. If you are part of that elite group, you are probably reaping the rewards that come from knowing what you want, where you want to go and how you are going to get there. Van Gogh remarked, "Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together."

If you've been part of the 97%, but are ready to face the new year with a resolve to raise your standard of greatness, spending time creating the plan for next year will be the best time you spend all month. I am not, however, talking about a perfunctory plan that you quickly create by just looking at your numbers. You are more than your numbers. Author David Kekich says, "An hour of effective, precise, hard, disciplined - and integrated thinking can be worth a month of hard work. Thinking is the very essence of, and the most difficult thing to do in business and in life. Empire builders spend hour-after-hour on mental work... while others party. If you're not consciously aware of putting forth the effort to exert self-guided integrated thinking... if you don't act beyond your feelings and you take the path of least resistance, then you're giving in to laziness and no longer control your life."

So let's take a look at some of the pitfalls that could trip you up on the way. Here are the biggest mistakes that I see in my coaching practice.

1. Not planning time to think and create a plan.

To fully design and create your plan for 2009, I recommend at least a full day. Many agents will plan a retreat with their team, or just go away for a weekend without distractions to focus. Working on it piecemeal when the time shows up is a sure way to fail. Time-block NOW an appointment with yourself to work on this. The time you need will not show up -- you must carve it out.

2. Failing to gather ALL the data from this year.

The numbers from this year must include more than just the total production and number of units. What was the SOURCE of each transaction? What was the cost of each listing? What was your NET profit? What was your close ratio on listing appointments? Each piece of information will inform you about where your strengths are and what untapped business is waiting for you.

3. Incrementally increasing your goal based on last year's results.

The normal method employed by agents to set next year's goals involves choosing a number that is somewhat above last year and then using some formula to tell them what their monthly and weekly actions should be. This is rarely exciting and energizing and usually results in having to work more, work harder or work faster.

4. Not factoring in reserve.

Most agents do not take into consideration that crisis will occur and stuff will happen. By figuring what needs to be produced to hit the goal and not allowing for reserve, they are always falling short and feeling that it is not going to work, or frantically running on adrenaline at the last possible moment to pull it off. Always assume you need 20%-30% more.

5. Not knowing the why.

This should really be #1. What is the reason you want to produce what you want to produce next year? If you attained your financial goal, or the number of units you want to close, what would that give you? If you attained that financial goal, why would that be important? Are you working to accumulate more stuff or to have a certain quality to your life that is joyful? The why is the key to your motivation and your willingness to be in action. Keep asking yourself, "Why do I want this?" or "what will getting this give me?" until you get to the bottom of what is REALLY important to you. These reasons are your values. Miracles happen when we know our values and our work reflects them.

6. Not planning in the personal first.

Speaking of the why-.there is also the "who." Your personal foundation must be deep and strong to build mighty structures above the ground. Does your plan for the year include time for yourself, your growth, your family and your interests. One of the first pieces of your planning should involve how much time off you will take next year and how your perfect work week looks. If you did nothing else this year but worked on your own personal development, I know you would probably have the best year ever.

7. Not looking for the new opportunities.

What gave you success last year or this year is not the key to your future success. In fact, if you aren't radically shifting the way you deliver your services and reach people, you may not be in business much longer. What new ways of marketing do you need to employ? How can you partner with others who may be interested in the same target markets and may help create a win/win? What new market segments or niches are, as yet, unserved? Who do you have an affinity with that is a perfect new niche?

8. Not designing strategies to leverage what you already have.

Are you leveraging your best clients and customers into your referral engine? Have you thought about how you can increase their loyalty and increase the value you provide them? The cost of finding new prospects is much higher than creating more business from folks who already know and love you. Get creative here!

9. Not making it a big enough stretch to get the creative juices flowing.

Thinking small rarely inspires. It's those impossible dreams, realized, that are able to stimulate our thinking and actions. When our goals become a game to play, rather than a measure of whether we are good or bad, we can let go of the attachment to a result and just find some innovative and fun ways of expressing our commitment to excellently serving our clients. The money flows when we love what we do and we have a big enough game to play. Boredom results in playing too small a game.

10. Not creating a structure for fulfillment.

Even with a good plan, not having a way to stay focused will trip you up. Do you have a partner to keep you on track? A coach who can see the big picture? If left to our own accountability systems, we are prone to sell out on ourselves. A coach actually knows you can do more than you think and reminds you of who you really are, instead of buying into the excuses that seem reasonable. Accountability and focus are both critical for the implementation of your plan.

For more great free training tools and tips and hundreds of free training videos go to CKGTV.com your resource for free online realestate agent and broker training.